Since starting the path of becoming a life coach, there have been many different reactions from people I interact with, that range from radical support to outright questioning of my judgement.
I’ve been asked if my own life is in order. To which I replied, “Mostly. I’m not sure anyone’s life is ever, ALWAYS in order. In addition, my life doesn’t have to be ‘in order’ or perfect in order to impact someone else’s life. In fact, when I was in despair myself, I’m pretty sure that I still impacted others. Ask my son.”
I’ve been asked if my house is clean. To which I replied, “Not today, but some days.” Again, not sure anyone’s house is ever, ALWAYS clean. And if it is, they clearly have a cleaning lady and/or are not fully living life.
I’ve been asked what kind of credentials I have. I am a Catalyst certified SHFT in LA. I completed a comprehensive 12 week course that is supported with weekly labs and continued learning. John Kim is the founder of the program and there are several others on his team that teach in-depth sections on Trauma/PTSD, Depression, Relationships, Leadership, and Positive Psychology. Many of these instructors (including John Kim) are licensed therapists and/or PHD students.
I’ve been told, “You are not well yourself.” Well, thank you very much. But, I am well. More well than I’ve ever been. And the fact that I have been “not well” in the past only helps me to relate well to others who are having difficulties similar to the ones that I have experienced in the past.
I think that my fellow Catalyst Neen summed it up best in her quote below, “I’m not sure I could learn that, I EARNED that. I earned it in the best and the worst ways possible.”
The truth is, wounded people recognize wounded people. Who better to help you out of a situation than someone who’s been in the same place? As much as you think you understand where someone is coming from, you simply don’t — unless you’ve been there. And even then, every person’s situation is unique, so it’s still hard to know exactly what someone is going through.
I remember when I was young and first married and our best friends had a baby. We couldn’t understand why they didn’t want to go out to dinner in the winter — until we had a baby.
And when my friend lost her dad to cancer, I had no idea what the grief was like — until I lost my mom to cancer.
I didn’t understand the exhaustion of a chronic illness — until I was struck with two of them at the same time, in the midst of a major depressive episode.
I never understood why people grieved a job loss when it opened up new opportunities — until my position was eliminated after 10 years with the same organization.
I never understood why or how families fell apart after the parents have passed on — until it happened to me.
We can try to relate and we can do the best we can to understand, but I believe all of my experiences happened for a reason. Fortunately or unfortunately, I’ve been through a lot of not so great experiences. Each one has given me a perspective that helps me to relate to others and ultimately help them to heal.
And that, my friends is ONE of the reasons why I believe I can rock being a coach.
I’ve been there.
I’ll listen to where you’re at and help you get to the other side of whatever challenge you may be facing at this time.
The post I’m Not Sure I Could Learn That, I Earned That appeared first on The Good Men Project.