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When I was growing up my teachers and my parents loved the quote, “Quitters Never Win and Winners Never Quit.” It was said so much that whenever I wanted to quit something in life, that’s what I would hear in my head.
Looking back, I stayed too long in jobs I hated, relationships that were going nowhere and even hobbies that I discovered I really didn’t like. Why? Because I was raised to believe that it was bad to be a quitter. Green Bay Packers beloved and successful coach, Vince Lombardi is credited with this quote. He led the football team to back-to-back Super Bowl wins in 1967 and 1968. This unprecedented success led to Lombardi becoming a symbol of the determination to win. (Since then six teams have had two consecutive Super Bowl wins and one of those teams, the Pittsburgh Steelers, has done it twice. But the Packers were the first to do it.)
Though it may be good advice for a sports team, it is terrible life advice. You only have one life – and you don’t really know how long that life is going to be. Why would you remain with something that doesn’t make you happy?
Hearing my father’s voice in my head quoting Lombardi led me to believe there was some duty or honor in sticking with something. Maybe Dad thought this was the case because in his generation people had one, maybe two, jobs in their career and they retired with a gold watch and a retirement plan. There was loyalty from the company to the employee so the employee should be loyal to the company. What I know is that if I am unfulfilled in a job I am not as creative, innovative, engaged or productive as I am when I love my job. So is just showing up to work really being loyal to an employer? I don’t think so. Employers have no qualms about firing an employee that doesn’t fit their need so why would I, as an employee, not fire them if they aren’t fitting my needs?
The same goes for a relationship. People simply didn’t get divorced in my parents’ generation. That leaves me wondering why society expected people to put someone else’s needs ahead of one’s own needs? Similarly, why would you expect someone else to put your needs ahead of theirs? Isn’t that what’s happening when you stay in a marriage or relationship you are unhappy in? Yes, of course, it’s worth the effort to see if you can mend whatever is broken. If in the end though, the two of you discover you’ve simply grown apart, then be apart so each of you can find happiness again.
As a parent, I asked my son to give everything he tried a “fair chance” and when he felt it was time to move on, then move on without regrets or disappointment.
With this mindset, you aren’t quitting; you are transitioning to the next chapter in life, replacing the negative feeling of being a “quitter” with the positive emotions of excitement, happiness, and curiosity for what the future holds.
Who knew quitting could feel so good?
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The post It’s OK to Quit (You May Even Win!) appeared first on The Good Men Project.